Nigel Hardy was a cheerleader. Cheerleading, in the minds of some, is a sport for girls. Our society is notorious for denigrating and/or objectifying anything feminine. (Story for another blog post!) I am not suggesting or implying
that Nigel Hardy was a gay youth or in the closet. However, with the prevaling ignorance in our society, a
young man who is forced (his choice is taken away) to hide his sexual orientation is sad but
understandable. If the late
Nigel Hardy was indeed gay, there was nothing at all wrong with that fact. Neither was there anything wrong with his
love for cheerleading. (It is a sport
that has significant risk and requires athleticism and strength. Let someone throw you in the air and you trust
they are going to be able to catch you! Or you be able to catch them as they torpedo toward you.)
What is wrong is the abuse that he
suffered at the hands of bullies. Bullying
is not harmless child’s play. It was
reported that Nigel had just turned 13, placing him in middle school. As a parent, I understand and remember the
social challenges and internal awkwardness that my middle-schoolers experienced. Any angst is compounded when the teen is
trying to understand their sexuality if it falls into the category of gay, bi, trans, queer or alternative. Sadly, Nigel Hardy took his own
life after being suspended from school for fighting. Supposedly, he was in a fight with someone
who had been teasing him. The specifics were not released,
but this is a tragic story that has a familiar tone. It is what I will call Closet Abuse. Social pressures and a need or desire to fit
into a larger group forces individuals to compartmentalize their lives in such
a way that they live in a ‘closet’, until the pressure is too great, leading to
some disastrous outcome.
If you agree that this type of
‘closet abuse’ needs to stop, than you can do something. Use this family’s tragedy and other
situations as teachable moments. Explain
to someone close to you, how important it is to offer the same acceptance and
respect that they want from others. Some
call it the ‘golden rule’. I find it to be Godly
behavior taught in Matthew 7:12 of the Bible.
“So in everything, do to others
what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the
Prophets.” Basically, you treat
people how you want to be treated. How
hard can it be to do this and teach it to our children? It may take a
conscious effort, but it is not difficult. As
Ghandi said, “be the change you want to see in the world.” Will you join us? Let me hear from you.
Eradicate
ignorance one word at a time.
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